Nine Months Later
by ambrosesaysnope
Summary: A year after Jackson's birth it seems that Roman and Ava are in for a happily ever after...not exactly. This is their story of heartbreak and loss that can make or break them. Sequel to Nine Months
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I only own Ava and Jackson.

A/N: I'M BAAAACKKKK. I hope you enjoy the sequel to Nine Months. I had fun writing the first story for you guys and I hope you like this one just a much. Review.

* * *

 _Ava smiled as Jackson walked to Roman, his baby laughter filling the room as he made his way to his father. She still couldn't believe that her little boy was turning a year old. It still amazed her every time she saw him walking, bringing tears to her eyes. Yes, she was happy that her son was happy, healthy, and growing, but she didn't want him to grow up so fast._

" _Jackson, my boy!" Roman exclaimed, lifting his son into his arms. "Look at the birthday boy!" He gave him a kiss on the cheek. "You're getting big. Daddy can't believe it!"_

 _Ava set down the scotch tape on the table and walked over to them on the other side of the living room. She giggled when Roman wrapped his free arm around her shoulder and pulled her to him. He placed a kiss on top of her head._

" _Mmm, I've missed you guys so much." He said, looking down at Ava. "Did you need help with any of the decorating?"_

" _Nope." She shook her head. "Your Mom came by yesterday and helped me put them up. I was just adding a some final touches before the party later."_

" _You hear that, little guy?" Roman asked, widening his eyes and looking at Jackson. "There's a party for you later! Which means you need to nap now so you're not cranky later on. You know how pouty Uncle Seth gets when you're in a crappy mood."_

 _Roman unwrapped his arm from around Ava and turned out of the living room and started towards Jackson's room, Roman's jabber sounding more distant the further away he got from the living room._

" _Well, Ava, you're finally here." She whispered looking around the decorated living room. "You've survived your first year of motherhood."_

 _She sat down on the couch and leaned her head against the back of it. Her eyes slipped shut as she tried to wrap her mind around all that had happened since Wrestlemania back in April. Things settled down after Roman's loss and his buildup as a top star continued. Ava made the decision to retire from in ring competition. Shortly after her decision to retire, she was offered a position as a trainer at the WWE Performance Center, which she happily took. If she couldn't further her wrestling career, she was going to help someone else with theirs. It seemed that everyone has fallen into their routine. Roman was home when he could be. Jackson spent a lot of time with Sika and Patricia while Ava was working. This was the way their life was for the last five months and now it seemed that was going to change._

" _Hey, gorgeous." Roman sat down on the couch next to her._

 _Ava opened her eyes and glanced at Roman from the corner of her eye. A smile formed on her lips when she realized how happy he was going to be, how happy they were going to be._

" _Hey, handsome." She replied. "Is Jackson asleep?"_

" _Took me a little bit, but he's down for the count." Roman smiled. "He'll be energetic for everyone later on."_

 _Ava sat up and nodded. "He's going to be so happy later on."_

 _Roman tilted his head to the side. "Is everything all right, babe?"_

 _She glanced down at the ring on her finger. They had been engaged since the beginning of the year, putting off the date. They both wanted to get married, but neither were in a rush to make the walk down the aisle. Roman's career was going hot and heavy, not leaving much room for them to settle on a date. Because of Ava's recent insistence, they were in the process of looking for a house. As much as she loved where they were now, their apartment was going to be much too small for them eventually._

" _Yeah." Ava smiled getting up and extending her hand to Roman. "Come with me. I want to show you something before the party starts."_

 _Roman got up and took her hand, allowing Ava to lead him out of the living room. He couldn't help but smile when she brought him to their room. He closed the door behind them and pulled her to him, her back colliding with his chest. He tilted his head to the side and pressed his lips to the side of her neck._

" _Mmm, someone missed me." He muttered between kisses._

 _A small moan elicited from her as she melted in his embrace. "Roman." She whimpered. "I, I need to give you something."_

" _Yeah?_ _"_ _He whispered._

 _She untangled herself from his grasp and turned around to face him. "Sit down on the bed."_

" _Is something wrong?"_

" _Just sit down and I'll be right with you."_

 _Roman sat down and watched as she opened the top dresser drawer and pulled out a box. He caught the expression on her face in the mirror and blew out a nervous breath of air. She had been quiet since he got home._

" _I have a little present for you." Ava finally turned around and approached the bed. She handed it to him and caught the confused expression on his face. "I know its rather unexpected."_

 _Roman looked at the bracelet box in his hand. He toyed with the little blue ribbon wrapped around it before making eye contact with Ava again._

" _Open it, silly." She laughed. "Its not going to bite you."_

 _He pulled the ribbon off and dropped it on the bed next to him. He opened the lid and stared down at the stick inside with a little pink plus sign on it. A smile formed on his lips as he stupidly looked at the stick, not fully realizing what it was that he was looking at._

" _What is this?" Roman asked, looking up at her._

 _Ava tilted her head to the side and shot him an amused expression, willing him to figure it out on his own._

" _Ava, what..." His voice trailed off as he looked down at it again and slowly started to piece together what was going on. His heart started to pound faster. "Is this what I think it is?"_

 _Ava nodded._

 _He dropped the box on the bed on quickly got up. He wrapped his arms around Ava's waist and closed the space between them. His lips came down to hers, capturing her in a kiss._

" _This is so great!" He exclaimed. "You're pregnant! When? How?!"_

 _Ava laughed at his excitement. How different his reaction was this time than it was when she had first told him she was pregnant with Jackson._

" _I think we both know how. As for when, I think it was that night a few months ago with the uh, fudge and strawberries."_

 _Roman remembered that night vividly. "Mmm, I remember that night." He said, tightening his hold on her. "How do you feel?"_

" _I'm feeling great today." She smiled, looking up at him. "You're home. Jackson is happy and healthy. We're a growing family. I feel like I'm floating on a cloud."_

 _Roman leaned his head down and kissed her on the lips again. "That's how I always want you to feel."_

" _Baby's coming in April."_

" _We've got a lot to do between now and then." He whispered. "I'm going to find us the biggest house in Tampa. We're going to have the grandest wedding this family has ever seen with two of the most beautiful kids present."_

" _We'll have it all." Ava agreed. "I love you."_

" _I love you, too."_

 _Silence fell between them for a moment. Each of them thinking how much their lives were going to change over the next few months._

" _Have you told anyone yet?"_

" _Just you." She smiled. "We'll wait to tell everyone. I want today to be about Jackson."_

" _And it will be." Roman took Ava's hand and led her towards the bed. "Let's try get some rest before everyone starts showing up."_

She stared up at the ceiling, unaware that the bright lights were burning her eyes. She was only focusing on the emptiness she was feeling. All she could do was replay what happened in her head over and over again and every time she wanted to to cry. Every time she blamed herself, even though she had known she did nothing wrong. Her doctor had reminded her of that. Sometimes these things happen with no explanation.

Tears flowed freely out of her eyes. Ava's eyes finally slipped shut, her head gently shaking from side to side, trying to fight back the reminder that her baby was gone. With no warning, she had started bleeding. She screamed for Patricia and the next thing she knew, she was being rushed to the hospital.

Roman. She wanted Roman to be here. To hold her, to tell her that everything would be all right. She needed the reassurance that they would try again, that like the doctor had told her, these things happen. But more than anything, she just wanted him beside her.

Her eyes opened again and she glanced at the doorway, hoping that he was rushing down the hallway, in a hurry to see her, to comfort her. But she knew that wouldn't happen. At least not tonight. He was in Toronto for a pay-per-view event. Which one it was, she couldn't remember right now, nor did it matter to her. Patricia had called him multiple times and left him multiple messages and he still hadn't answered any of those calls.

"Jackson is doing well." Patricia entered the room as she slid her phone in her purse. "Sika fed him and had just gotten him to sleep."

Ava only nodded.

"I know you've gone through a traumatic experience today. I can't even begin to process how you're feeling, but please don't let this break you down." Patricia sat in the chair next to the bed. She took Ava's hand in hers and gently squeezed it. "Take all the time you need to grieve, but please don't feel that you are alone. Everything will be fine in the end. Roman will be here soon and you guys will work through this together. The doctor said that you would still be able to have children, that you were still in good health."

She glanced at Patricia, wondering how she could be thinking of other children. It had only been mere hours since she had lost her baby. The doctor was only making a prediction when she had told her that. Tests still needed to be run to determine the chances of her becoming pregnant again, right? Or if she wanted to get pregnant again?

"Ava, sweetie, please talk to me." She pleaded. "You've been quiet since the doctor was in here last."

Talk? She wanted her to talk? Words seemed to be escaping her attention right now. Stringing the correct words into a sentence would be a difficult task to accomplish. Her son was safe and sound on the other side of the city. Her fiance was wrestling in a different country and here she was in the hospital trying to make sense of today's tragedy. Trying to comprehend that she came to the hospital for the wrong reason.

"What do you want me to say?" Ava finally asked. "I've lost a piece of myself. I feel hollow inside. I don't know how I'm going to function after this. I can't wrap my head around the fact that I'm going to be leaving this hospital without my baby."

"I know its hard, honey, but you have to stay strong for Jackson."

New tears flowed over dry tears that she hadn't bothered to wipe off her face. After the the millionth cry of the day, Ava gave up on trying to keep her face clean.

"Yeah, my little boy. I have to remind myself that I still have him and I always will." Ava nodded. "Why did this happen to us, Patricia? Everything was going well."

"I don't know, sweetie. All I know is that you have to try to be strong and that you have us right here with you, helping you get through this. You won't go this alone."

Her thoughts drifted back to Roman. Why hadn't they heard from him all day? She knew he was a busy guy, doing appearances and then doing match preparation at the arena before the show...but still, he should have found a moment to call back by now.

"Any word from Roman?" Ava asked, glancing at her for the first time since she entered the room. "Anything at all?"

Patricia pulled her phone out of her purse and checked it. No missed calls or text messages. Sighing, she put her phone away and shook her head, disappointment filling her face.

"I just wish he would call back already." Ava whispered, trying to hold her tears back. "I miss him so much and I just want him here to hold me and tell me that everything will be all right, that we'll be all right."

"He'll be here." Patricia replied, smoothing her hair back. "Close your eyes and try get some sleep. Roman will be here when you wake up."

Ava fought to hold back some tears as she slowly nodded her head with what little strength she felt she had. She mumbled something before closing her eyes and letting herself drift to sleep.

Patricia let her hand go and sat back, trying to hold back her anger and disappointment. She understood that Roman was working, providing for his family, but she was angry that he hadn't made the slightest effort to contact them all day. There had to have been at least one moment where he could have called. It hurt her to see Ava so upset and lost without Roman being there for her.

She reached into her purse again and pulled her phone out. She rose from the chair and stepped out into the hallway. With once glance, she checked to see if Ava was still asleep. Seeing that she was, she turned her attention to her phone and tried Roman one more time.

* * *

All the noise from earlier had died down when he left the arena. The ringing in his ears had gone away and he was hearing normally again. Exhaustion had neatly settled itself into his bones as he pushed the hotel room door open. Another successful day had ended and he could finally call Ava. His phone died earlier in the day and he had forgotten his charger at the hotel.

He left his suitcase in the corner of the room and then walked over to the bed and sat down. Roman leaned over to grab his charger and then plugged it into his phone. He impatiently waited for the phone to start up. The sooner he could call Ava, the better he would feel. They normally talked a couple of times a day and having gone this long without hearing her voice was driving him crazy.

His phone opened up to the main screen and his heart started to pound the moment he saw the amount of missed calls and voicemails from his parents. Something was wrong. Fumbling with his password for a moment, Roman finally got his phone unlocked and started listening to the frantic voicemails his parents had left him.

" _Roman, we need you to come home right away. We had to rush Ava to the hospital. Call me when you get this. Talk to you soon. Love you."_

The panic in his mom's voice made him even more anxious. He listened to the next message.

" _Son, where are you? Your mother rushed Ava to the hospital. Something is wrong. Head on home right now."_

Roman shut his eyes for a moment, taking deep breaths to calm himself down. He listened to one more message.

" _Roman, call me back right away. We're at the hospital. Ava needs you."_

Many more voicemails were left unopened. He got up and started getting his things together while he called Hunter. His phone kept ringing until it went to voicemail. He hung up and tried calling him again. It went to voicemail again. Finally, on the fourth try he got a hold of Hunter.

"I need to head home right now. Ava's in the hospital. Something is wrong with her and the baby." Roman spilled out without even saying hello. "I need to make it home. Shit. Something happened and I wasn't there for her."

"Slow down, Roman." Hunter responded. "What happened?"

"Ava is in the hospital. Something's wrong. I need to go home right away."

"We'll work something out for Raw tomorrow." Hunter said. "Get home. Keep me updated."

Roman muttered his thanks and ended the call. He made flight arrangements and then went to check out of the hotel. He couldn't wait until he got home.

* * *

He couldn't even begin to calculate how long it took him to get home. He went directly from the airport to the hospital. The anxiety that had seized him made him difficult to deal with. It took the hospital receptionist a moment to realize what he was asking. A couple of times she had told him she couldn't let him in. Finally, after nearly sending her to tears and explaining that his fiance was registered there, she let him through.

With all his rushing about, Roman nearly passed Ava's room. He quickly entered the room and stopped in his tracks when he saw that both his mom and Ava were asleep. He walked over to the bed and leaned down, gently kissing her on the lips. He straightened himself up and walked around the other side of the bed. He gently shook his mom awake.

"Mom, wake up." He gently shook her by the shoulder. "I'm here. Wake up."

Patricia's eyes fluttered open. She sat up and looked around to remember where she was. Only when she remembered, did she realize that Roman was there.

"Where have you been?" She whispered.

He jerked his head toward the hallway and then started out of the room.

"What happened?" He asked when she stepped out of the room. "Is she all right?"

Patricia glanced in the room, her heartbreaking. "No, she's not all right, Roman. She's been wanting you all day and you fell off the face of the earth. The poor girl is shattered into a million pieces and you were nowhere to be found."

"I'm sorry. My phone died and I didn't have my charger with me. I got my phone working again when I got to the hotel." He sighed. "What happened? Is the baby all right? Where's Jackson?"

"She miscarried." Patricia whispered, trying to hold back tears of her own. "She was over with Jackson. I was playing with him in the living room while she was in the kitchen making a sandwich. Out of nowhere she started screaming for me. The next thing I know we're in the emergency room."

"Miscarried." Roman repeated, hoping he heard wrong. Tears were pooling his eyes. "No. She was doing fine. The doctor said she was fine during our last appointment. No, that can't be right. Did she fall? Bump into something."

"No, nothing." Patricia responded. "It just happened. The doctor told us that sometimes miscarriages happen and that they can't be explained."

"What kind of a bullshit explanation is that?" Roman shouted.

Patricia smacked him on the arm. "Watch your mouth."

"I just can't believe it. This isn't right."

"Unfortunately, this is really happening. She's really going to need you right now. Just like you're going to need her." She sighed. "Go wash your face and try hold yourself together. She's cried so much already I don't want her to see you this way. Comfort each other."

Roman looked into the room at a sleeping Ava. "Thanks for everything, Mom. You can go home. I'll stay with her."

Patricia hugged Roman. "Call me if you need anything. We'll keep Jackson with us for a few days."

Patricia got her things together and was soon gone. Roman pushed the chair closer to the bed and then sat down. He took Ava's hand in his and watched her until he fell asleep himself.

What only felt like a short while later, Roman felt himself being awakened by Ava gently scratching the back of his hand. Her voice softly calling his name.

"I'm sorry." She choked out when they made eye contact.

Roman was quick to get up to his feet and lean over to place a gentle kiss on her lips. "No, no. I'm so sorry, baby. I'm sorry I wasn't here sooner. I'm sorry I wasn't here for you when you needed me most." He whispered against her lips while one of his hands smoothed her hair back. "I should have been here for you. I'm sorry you had to go through this alone."

"I needed you so much." Ava cried. "Where were you?"

"My phone died and I didn't have my charger at the arena. I got all the messages when I got back to the hotel and put my phone on the charger. I flew out as soon as I could. I got here early this morning and haven't left your side since. I'm so sorry."

"I lost the baby." She cried. "Our little baby is gone."

"Shh, don't cry." Roman tried to soothe her. "I'm here now. We're going to get through this together."

He kissed her again, hoping for the best.

* * *

A/N: Only chapter one and its already intense.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I only own Ava and Jackson.

A/N: A HUGE thank you to everyone who has read and reviewed! I'm glad you're enjoying the story so far! Sorry, it took me so long to get this updated. I'm going to try get better with updating. Enjoy. Review.

* * *

Ava went in to go check on Jackson. She smiled down at him when she saw he was still asleep. Ever since her miscarriage a month ago, she had spent every moment possible with Jackson. Having him with her comforted her and kept her from thinking about the baby she had lost, as well as the distance she had put between her and Roman.

Being around him had become difficult because she felt like she had let him down. Despite him constantly telling her that he wasn't upset and that miscarriages happen, she still felt bad. Every time she looked at Roman she remembered how happy he was when she told him she was pregnant. The way his face lit up and the smile on his lips was enough to warm her heart. Then her thoughts drifted to the hospital and how upset he was when he thought she was asleep. _That_ was enough to break her heart.

Ava wiped away some tears that she had shed and then backed out of Jackson's room. She left the door partially open and then went to the living room to pick up his toys. Any distraction helped her get through the days. Be it cleaning or sleeping, she felt fine. If she could have, she would have gone back to work right away, but she was given time off to recuperate.

After picking up the toys and putting them in the toy box in the corner of the room, Ava sat on the couch and turned the TV on. She glanced at the clock and sighed when she realized Roman was going to be home soon. The thought of it made her nervous. Roman was starting to get frustrated with her, she could sense it. There had to be something she could do to make him feel better.

Glancing at the TV for a moment, she shook her head and got up. Whatever it was that she had flipped it on to, she knew she wasn't going to focus on it. Instead, she would try to make some dinner for Roman. She was sure he would want something homemade as opposed to all the junk he eats while he's on the road. With the way things had been going between them, any little thing would help. She didn't want to lose him, but at the same time, she couldn't help but blame herself.

She headed to the kitchen and started preparing dinner. Anything to distract her would be best.

* * *

"Things any better with Ava?" Seth asked.

"Still the same." Roman admitted, running a hand over through his hair. "She's still upset about the miscarriage. I am too, but its just hard to talk to her about it. I try to get her to open up, but she won't. I know she still blames herself and I keep telling her it was no one's fault. Comforting her is just difficult. I'm not sure what to do to help anymore."

"She still won't talk? I'm surprised."

"Her doctor said its normal. Only thing is, I don't know how long it will take her to cope with it. All she does is distract herself by working, doing stuff around the house, and spending time with Jackson. I try to hold her and talk to her, comfort her and she just holds back."

Seth took his eyes of the road for a moment and glanced at Roman. "I guess all you have to do is be patient and just continue to be there for her. She lost the baby, Roman, Ava must be dying inside. Especially, when she looks at Jackson."

"I'm really trying here, but she's got to try too. Every time she's done crying, she says she's going to snap out of it and the next day she's back to crying, hardly speaking a word to me. I'm really worried about her."

"Take her out somewhere. I'm not doing anything. I can babysit Jackson for you guys until you get back." Seth offered as he turned onto Roman's street. "Maybe, she needs some time out of the house n different surroundings. I know she has time off. She possibly could be distracting herself too much. Does she know how this has affected you?"

"Honestly, I've been so worried about how she's coping with the loss that I haven't even mentioned anything to her. Even, if I did, she either wouldn't be able to wrap her head around out or it will make her feel worse about it all. I don't want that to happen."

"Yeah, but you also don't want this to drive a wedge between you. You guys went through enough while she was pregnant with Jackson." Seth pulled up in front of Roman's house. "I thought that was enough for your lifetime."

"We did too." Roman sighed. "Another curve ball thrown here. We're going to have to work it out."

"The offer to watch Jackson still stands." Seth reminded him. "I can take the little guy tonight if you want."

Roman looked over at his house, shook his head and then looked back at Seth. "Thank you. Not tonight though. I miss the little guy and I know she'll have a minor panic attack if he's not there. I think she's afraid to be alone with me."

"Have you guys..." Seth's voice trailed off as his eyes wandered over to the house. "Like at all?"

Roman shook his head.

"Nothing at all?" Seth asked in disbelief. "But its you guys! You can't _not_ touch each other!"

"Last time was before the miscarriage." Roman admitted. "She's afraid."

Seth blew out a low whistle. "Wow. I had no idea it was _that_ bad."

Roman looked towards the apartment building again and sighed. "I'm going to try talking to her when I get inside. Thanks for the ride, man. I'll see you later."

After Seth said his goodbyes, Roman got out the car and started towards the building. He tried to keep his anxiety levels down. He was nervous about how Ava was going to be when he got home. He knew that she was nervous around him. Despite his telling her that no one was at fault, she still blamed herself. When they were together and silence fell between them he could see her thoughts rolling in her head; did she eat something wrong, lift someone heavy, walk into something? He could see her trying to pinpoint the reason for the miscarriage.

"Babe!" He called from the front door. "I'm home!"

He could hear her in the kitchen. The sounds of dishes clinging together, cabinet doors opening and closing led him to believe Ava hadn't heard him. When she was busying herself, she could hear nothing that was going on around her.

Roman walked to the kitchen and stood in the entryway. He watched while she prepped the steak to be cooked. She was still unaware that he was even home. He leaned against the wall, watching her. Roman's eyes followed as she stood up on her tiptoes to open the cabinet in front of her to grab some seasoning. She got what she needed and planted her feet flat on the ground. She sprinkled the seasoning onto the steak and set it on the counter next to her.

He straightened himself up and walked over to her. He wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her to him, instantly telling Ava it was him when he felt her tense up.

"Relax, babe. Its only me." He kissed her on the side of the neck. "I missed you so much."

Ava was screaming at herself to relax, that it was only Roman. Her fiance, the love of her life, the father of her son. He wasn't at fault for what happened, she was. It wasn't fair for her to treat him that way.

"Food should be ready in a little while. Go get showered and changed. By the time you're done it will be ready."

He closed and opened his eyes. He let her go. "I'll go check on Jackson and then start getting cleaned up."

Roman left her alone in the kitchen and went in to go check on Jackson. He was still asleep without a care in the world. Lucky him to be so little and not realize what was happening around him. Smiling down at his son, he adjusted his blanket so it was covering him again and then he left him alone.

* * *

Ava was sitting on the edge of the bed when Roman got out of the bathroom. He was dressed in a pair of basketball shorts and a t-shirt. He stopped in his tracks when he saw her sitting there, staring down at her feet.

"You all right?" He asked, remaining in place.

Ava looked up from her feet and glanced at Roman. She nodded in response. "Yeah, I'm fine." She got up. "Dinner is ready."

Roman caught up with her before she could leave him alone. He gently wrapped his hand around her wrist and pulled her back to him.

"We really need to talk, Ava." He said, looking down at her. "I get that you're going through a tough time. I am, too. But we can't let this stop us from living our lives. What happened was horrible. I wake up every day wishing that it hadn't happened. Its not my fault or yours."

"Don't you think I know all this?" She whispered, looking up at him. "I try to push myself forward everyday, but it still doesn't change the fact that I'm hurt. How can I move on from the baby that could have been? I'm mourning the person he or she may have became. I know you're upset with me over the miscarriage, but..."

"No, no." He interrupted her. "I'm not upset with you over the miscarriage. This was just something that happened. We can always try again later, when we're both ready."

Ava blinked back her tears.

"Look, I know this is hard on you. Its hard on me too." Roman pointed out. "I just want you to know that you can talk to me. You don't have to be afraid to talk to me about this. I lost a child too. I'm struggling with this just as you are. I love you and I just want to be there for you..." His voice trailed off for a moment. "If you let me that is."

Ava looked up at him and almost started crying when she saw the tears pooling his eyes. He's been trying to keep it together for her sake for the last month and she had never bothered to ask him how he was feeling. Now she felt even worse than before. Not for herself, but for Roman.

"I'm sorry." She whispered. "You're absolutely right."

He closed the space between them and wrapped his arms around her waist. He lowered his head down to hers and gave her a gentle kiss.

"Just let me in. Don't shrink back when I hold you or kiss you. I want to be there for you and for Jackson. I can't do that if you're afraid to look me in the eye." He whispered. "I know its going to take some time for us to cope with this and get through this, but if we stick together we'll be back to normal in no time."

Roman let go of her before she could respond and left her standing in the middle of the room with tears pooling in her eyes. She watched as he left the room, seemingly lost and defeated. She knew he was right, she wasn't going to deny it. But there was always going to be this part of her that was going to feel bad about the miscarriage and feeling like she had messed everything up. The whole time she was in the hospital all she could think about was how excited Roman was about the new baby, how excited they both were.

Jackson's cries broke her out of her thoughts. She left the room and went to him.

"Who's up from their nap?" Ava cooed when she got to his crib. Leaning over, she reached in to pick him up. "Its okay, baby. Mommy's here. Stop crying, honey." She wiped away his tears. "Let's get you something to eat, sweetie." Ava smiled at him. "Daddy's home."

Jackson sniffled and then smiled at the mention of Roman being home.

"There's that little smile I love so much." Ava tickled him. "Let's go find Daddy and eat with him. He'll be so happy to see that you're up."

She left the room and went to the kitchen. "Look who's up and happy to see Daddy."

Roman looked up from his plate and smiled at the sight of Ava and Jackson. "Hey, Little Man." He got up to take Jackson from Ava. He gave him a kiss on the cheek. "You're getting so big! Yeah, you're gonna be as big as Daddy when you get older."

A mixture of Jackson's baby gibber and laughter filled the kitchen. His little hands flailed around, lightly hitting on Roman on his face.

"Are you going to eat with Mommy and Daddy?" Roman asked, smiling at his son. "Let's get you seated, buddy."

While Roman was getting Jackson into the highchair, Ava walked over to the cabinet to get Jackson's baby food. She got what she needed and went back over to the table and sat in front of Jackson's highchair.

"I can feed him."

Ava looked up at Roman, a small smile on her face. "Eat, baby. I'll feed him. You're tired from all the travel and never have a moment to relax. Sit down and enjoy."

"I will once I've spent more time with my family. I miss the little guy when I'm the road." Roman took the spoon from Ava's hand. He turned to Jackson. "I'll eat when he's done."

Ava watched as Roman turned the highchair towards him and begin to feed Jackson. She watched as they interacted with each other, how happy they were to be with each other. Sitting back in her seat, she crossed her legs and folded her arms across her chest, smiling at the scene before her.

After watching Roman feed Jackson for a minute or two, Ava finally broke the silence between them, going back to their earlier conversation.

"I love you, Roman." She said, leaning forward. "I know I haven't been myself over the last month. I know I've closed myself off to you and everyone else, finding any possible distraction to keep from thinking or talking about it. I guess I thought I could deal with the pain on my own."

Roman looked at Ava for a moment before focusing on feeding the baby again. "Its not only your pain to deal with. Its mine too, Ava. You aren't the only one that had a loss. Its like I told you before, if we're going to make this work and get through this, then you're going to need to be more open with me."

She folded her hands in her lap and looked down at them. Blinking back her tears, she lifted her head up to look back at Roman before releasing a sigh.

"I do and I'll try too. Its just hard."

"Why is that?" He asked, looking back at her. "Do you know how terrified I was when I finally heard those messages from my parents? My thoughts were only on you in my mad dash to get home to be with you. All I could think about was how you were in pain and I wasn't there for you. My heart broke when my mom told me in the middle of a hospital hallway that you had lost the baby, that you were waiting for me, crying for me. I can't stand knowing you went through it alone. I hate the fact that a month later you still think its your fault and that I have no right to be involved in this."

"While we were waiting to hear from you all I kept thinking about was how happy you were when I told you." Ava whispered. "I couldn't help but think that it was my fault. With you not getting back to us right away, I thought you were upset with me and that you didn't want to see me."

He clenched his teeth in an effort to keep from shouting in front of Jackson. He tore his eyes away from Ava and continued feeding Jackson. The silence between them thickened while Roman finished feeding Jackson. When he was done, he set the spoon down and took him out of his highchair.

"We both know that would never happen." He said, not disguising the hurt in his voice. "You're not being fair. You knew I was in Canada for a pay-per-view and that I was doing work all day. Had I known about it all sooner, I would have left right away to be by your side. I get that that upset you. It upset me too, but we can't dwell on that."

"You're right." Ava looked up at him. "But you have to understand that I wasn't in a good state of mind. I was already feeling low and alone because of losing the baby. When you're already in a depressed state, you continue spiraling downwards. The more I thought of the _one_ person that should have been there wasn't, the more I realized I did something wrong."

"You didn't do anything wrong." Roman sat back down and settled Jackson on his lap. "You heard the doctor, miscarriages just happen sometimes. There often isn't a reason why they happen, they just do. We can try for more kids later on. When we're ready to try again."

Ava's eye skipped away from Roman's while she nervously twisted her fingers. Getting pregnant again had been a fear of hers since that fateful day. She didn't know if she'd be able to do it again.

"Ava?" Roman kept his eyes on her, trying to get her attention. "Ava, you do want to try for more kids later, right?"

Sighing, Ava swung her eyes back to Roman. Her heart warmed at the sight of him holding Jackson on his lap with one arm securely around him, while he ate with his free hand. The clanking of the fork against the plate brought her out of her happy moment and sent her headfirst into reality.

"You want more kids, don't you?"

She pulled her chair up closer to the table and laid her elbows down on the tabletop. Holding her head in her hands, she kept her eyes down towards the table, focusing on the pattern of the tablecloth.

"I don't know, Roman." She admitted. "Some days I do and some days I don't."

"So that's it?" Roman asked, trying to keep himself calm. "No more kids? Case closed. Your call. No discussion between the two of us to see what we each want."

"I'm not saying that, Roman." Ava whispered. "I'm not sure at the moment. Of course, we're going to talk more about this when the time comes. Its not only my call to make."

The tension between them seemed to thicken. Any appetite she may have had dissolved, just as Roman's had. She got up and leaned in towards Roman to take Jackson from him. "I'm going to give him a bath and get him changed."

Roman got up and followed her to the bathroom. They weren't done with this conversation yet. There wasn't going to be another way out for her anymore. If they're going to be married and have a family together, then they had to work through this and figure out where they stood.

"You can't run away from this." Roman said, once he entered the bathroom. "You can't walk away from conversations that concern our future not only as husband and wife, but as a family. We can't only think of ourselves here, Ava."

Ava continued bathing Jackson as if she hadn't heard a thing Roman said.

"I'm going to call my parents and see if they're home. If they are, I'm taking him over there and we're going to talk about this until we can start working this out. Pack some things for him."

"Roman, we can't-"

"We are." He interrupted her. "Get him ready. I'm going to call them."

* * *

After dropping off Jackson with his parents, Roman raced home. He pounded up the steps and into the house, slamming the door shut behind him. The more he replayed their earlier conversation in his head, the more upset he got. It wasn't so much that she was hurt about the miscarriage, she had every right to be hurt. The problem was Ava shutting him out and him having to pull teeth to get her to talk.

He found her in the kitchen washing the dishes from dinner. He moved over to the sink and shut the water off. He took the dish out of her hands and set it down in the sink. Grabbing her hand, he led her out of the kitchen and to the living room.

Ava sat down on the couch while Roman sat down on the edge of the coffee table. He took his hands in hers and looked her straight in the eye.

"You know I love you, right?" He asked. "That I would do anything for you?"

She nodded.

"I want you to forget these crazy thoughts of you blaming yourself. None of this was your fault. We're in this together. If you need me, call me. Please talk to me. We can't help each other if we don't talk to each other."

Ava took her hands from his and placed them on either side of his face. "I'm sorry for the way I've been. I'll work on it."

"That's all I ask." He smiled.

"How are _you_ feeling? I've been so wrapped up in myself that I never asked you."

"I'm better now that I have you back here with me. I feel like we can get back to where we were." Roman whispered as he leaned in closer to her. "All of this has hurt me too, but knowing I have you, makes this all better. Knowing we have each other will make it easier."

Ava nodded in agreement. "I love you. About having more kids-"

"We'll talk about that later." Roman interrupted her. "For now, we'll take things they come."

Ava leaned in and pressed her lips to his. "Okay."

Roman pulled her hands down and got up. He took her hands in his and helped her up to her feet. Keeping his hold on her one of her hands, he led her to their room.

"Roman..."

As soon as they were in the room, he leaned down and kissed her. His hands drifted downwards, just under her butt, making it easier for him to pick her up. Her legs wrapped around him instantly as she kissed him back just as passionately.

He stumbled over to the bed and laid her down. He stood over the bed and watched as her entire demeanor seemed to change. Whatever mood she had been in earlier seemed to melt away from her as she sat up and started pulling her shirt off.

With his eyes on her, Roman pulled his t-shirt off and balled it up and tossed it over his shoulder. His shorts went next. Soon enough they were both undressed and Roman was hovering over Ava. He took her hands and pinned them above her head. His lips pressed down to hers for another kiss. Her warm body gently writhed under his while she struggled to break her hands free of his grip.

"I forgot how soft your skin felt." He whispered, breaking the kiss.

His lips trailed along her jawline and down her neck. He left behind small kisses as he drifted down her body. The hold he had on her hands came undone.

With every kiss Ava felt like her skin was on fire. It felt like every inch of her body was coming alive. A small moan came from her. She hadn't felt this good in so long.

Roman hooked her legs under her knees before he lowered himself between her legs. One hand held her right leg off to the side while his other hand found hers. Her fingers intertwined with his and she squeezed tightly when she felt his tongue hit her center. Her eyes drifted shut while she moved against his tongue, reveling in the sensations she was feeling.

His tongue flicked against her clit making her back arch off the bed. She gripped the sheet with her free hand, allowing another moan to slip from between her lips. Again his tongue teased her clit and she cried out again. His tongue expertly moved through her folds until she couldn't hold herself back anymore. As she felt herself coming, Ava moved herself against his tongue, finding herself wanting more.

Roman moved up the length of her body and brought his lips down to hers. They eagerly kissed each other, both hungry from the lack of intimacy over the last month. The kiss was broken and their eyes opened. Both were breathing heavy, but their faces revealed the same need.

Ava brought her hands to his chest and gently nudged him. When he moved, she got on her knees and she pushed him down onto the bed. She straddled him and lowered herself onto his cock. She smiled when she heard the moan come from him.

She slowly started to ride him. She slowly lowered herself onto his cock and slowly moved up. As she continued her movements, her breathing started to get heavier, her moans louder. Ava started moving faster. She threw her head back, another loud moan emanating from her.

"Ahh yeaah, that's it baby. Keep riding, oh fuck, me." Roman got out between moans. By now Roman gripped her hips and started pushing himself upwards and downwards, keeping up with the pace she had set. "Look at me."

She looked down at Roman, her teeth sinking into her lower lip as she continued to come down around him. Their pants and moans filled the room.

Roman halted their movements and sat up. Ava rested her hands on Roman's shoulders and started moving with him again. She rested her face in the crook of his neck as the pleasure took over her body again.

"Roman, ahh yes, please. Mmm, right there." She breathed out.

He shifted positions again, this time laying Ava on the bed so that she was underneath him. Taking her hands into his, he pinned them above her head and started thrusting. Slow at first, but the pace quickly changed with her urging for him to go faster.

Her legs wrapped around his waist and pushed him in towards her. She couldn't help herself. She wanted to feel every inch of him, take in every sensation she was feeling. Her eyes rolled to the back of her head the harder Roman went.

"Oh, oh, oh, yes." She moaned. "Please, oh god, yes, Roman."

Ava was able to wrestle her hands out of Roman's grasp. She gripped his back, her fingernails breaking into his skin. He hissed with a mix of pleasure and pain while he continued to push in and out of her.

"Come on, Ava." He breathed out. He lowered his lips to hers. "Come for me, baby."

Her hands were raking up and down his back at this point. They were moving harder, both of them getting closer. She could feel her body moving towards her orgasm. Her legs tightened around his waist again and her movements started to slow down.

"That's a good girl." He whispered in her ear. "Come for me, baby."

Within moments, her back arched off the bed as she came down hard around his cock. She fell back onto the bed with her eyes on Roman. Now she was urging him to come.

She placed one hand on his chest and tangled the other in his hair, lowering his head down to hers. With her lips hovering over his, she pleaded for him to come.

"Come on, baby." Ava whispered. "Show me you're the man. Ohh yeah, that's it."

"Ava."

"Mmm, yes." She moaned. "Show me, baby. That's, ahh, it. Right there."

He couldn't hold back anymore, he exploded right inside of her. Placing his hands on either side of Ava, he held himself up and lowered his head down, trying to catch his breath. Roman placed a kiss on her lips and then laid down next to her on the bed.

Roman felt around the floor for the blanket that had fallen off the bed. He grabbed it and threw it over them. He then pulled Ava to him. He placed a kiss on top of her head.

"Roman, about earlier when you asked about us having more kids in future?"

"We don't have to talk about that now." He replied, looking down at her. "We'll take things as they go."

"I do want more kids in the future." Ava went on as if he hadn't said anything. "Everything isn't going to be forgotten because of what just happened. But its a start in us starting to close the wedge between us."

"That's all I want. I almost lost you once, I don't want to lose you again."

"I don't want to lose you either." She whispered. "I was thinking about what you said about us having Sundays together as a family. You know? Sleeping in late. Jackson coming in the room to sleep between us because of a nightmare. The baby asleep in the other room and the new baby on the way."

Roman glanced down at the engagement ring on her finger. They hadn't set a date because they weren't in a hurry, but with everything that has happened, maybe now would be a good time to set a date.

"Baby, how would you feel about setting a wedding date?"

Ava sat up right and looked down at him. "What?"

"How do you feel about setting a date for the wedding?" He laughed. "I know we said there wasn't a rush, but I was just thinking about how I don't want to wait to call you my wife."

With a smile on her face, she straddled him and lowered her lips to his. She kissed him with all the passion she had in her body. Of course, he really loved her. Suddenly, Ava felt so stupid for letting herself think otherwise.

"You want to set a date?" Roman asked once the kiss was broken.

"Yes." Ava kissed him again.

Roman pulled his lips away from hers. Laying his hands on either sides of her face, he looked her straight in the eye. "When should we set it for? April? June? February?"

She shook her head. "Let's avoid the beginning of the year. You're going to be busy enough with Wrestlemania prep from January through April. While we're planning our wedding, I want that to be our focus. We won't mention wrestling, mine nor yours, when we're discussing the wedding."

"Fair enough." He shrugged. "So, when should we get married?"

Ava chewed on her lower lip while she mulled the date over. Had she had a calendar in front of her, she would probably be able to pick a date with no problem. But, she didn't and here they were, picking a date out of thin air.

"We could just elope this weekend." Roman suggested after a couple of minutes went by. "Any date that makes us husband and wife as soon as possible works best for me."

There were so many things they needed to plan. Everything from the ceremony to the reception had to be planned accordingly. Searching for a dress would take her the longest. That isn't something that would take a few weeks.

"Mmm, as tempting as that sounds, I want us to have a real wedding. I want us to a have a real wedding album with pictures of us and our family. I want to have those memories to share with our kids and grandkids."

Roman smiled at the thought. Resting his hands on her hips, he asked her again.

"There's so much for us to decide on. We need as much time as possible." Ava sighed. "As much as I would love the wedding to be soon, we can't. Not with the wedding I want us to have."

"You mean the wedding you've been planning since you've been eight?" Roman teased. "Okay, how about this then, things will start to die down around August. Let's plan for August."

She thought for a moment. "Mmm, I like that. It will be towards the end of the summer."

"How does August twenty-fifth sound?"

"I like it." Ava smiled, then kissed him.

"Do you know why I picked that day?"

She shook her head.

"That was the first day we ever met." Roman replied. He pushed a piece of hair behind her ear. "Despite our rocky first meeting I did always have feelings for you. I did from the first moment I saw you walk into the training center with Paige. I came up to you..."

"To proposition me." Ava smirked. "My, you were the charmer."

"And you rightfully told me off." Roman laughed. "You left me there, struck stupid because no one had ever talked to me like that before. I watched you walk away and I felt myself falling for you even more."

Ava couldn't help the smile that spread across her lips. They had what she would describe as the worst first meeting ever which led to an even rockier relationship. But somehow through it all, from her pregnancy with Jackson to getting to know Roman through it all, it somehow all seemed charming in its own weird way.

"You remember the date?" Ava asked with laughter in her voice. "That's the cutest thing."

"Ha ha, laugh it up." Roman lightly swatted her on the butt.

"I think its sweet." Ava kissed him again.

Roman lazily ran his hand up and down her bare back. He smiled when his eyes locked with hers, soon he would be waking up next to his wife.

* * *

A/N: Things seem to be fine for now.


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I only own Ava and Jackson.

A/N: A HUGE thank you to everyone following the story and everyone that has been waiting patiently for an update. I really suck with getting these updates done. But what can I do? Real life and writer's block tend to get in the way. I've also changed the title from Burning Bright to Nine Months Later. I wasn't really keen on the original title. I hope you guys enjoy! Review.

* * *

With Jackson in her arms, Ava walked to the car with Corey trailing behind her. He muttered curses under his breath as he carried the boxes from the printer shop to the car.

"I should have told you I was busy."

"And what?" Ava turned to look at Corey over her shoulder. "Miss all the fun we're having? Besides, I needed your muscles."

"You used to hoist women over your shoulders and hurl them onto the ground underneath you and you need _my_ muscles?" Corey asked, astonished. "Hurry up and get Jackson in the car so you can open the trunk for me. These boxes are starting to get heavy."

Ava rolled her eyes, but hurried over to the car nevertheless. She got Jackson settled in his carseat and then popped the trunk open for Corey.

"Be careful with them." ƒShe said as he nearly dropped a box.

"I used to lift men up and throw them around the ring without anyone telling me to be careful." Corey remarked. "I think I can handle a box of invitations."

"Yeah, then why were complaining about the weight of them?" Ava asked, shutting the trunk.

"Because they're obnoxiously heavy for what they are and this is Florida and it's eighty degrees today and my hands were getting sweaty." Corey mentioned as they got inside the car. He put his seatbelt on. "Mind you, this is coming from a woman that needed _my_ muscles to carry them to the car."

Ava laughed. "Fine. Fine. You got me there."

She slipped her seatbelt on and then pulled her sunglasses over her eyes from the top of her head. Before igniting the car, she checked on Jackson and smiled when saw him smiling and staring back at her.

"I think Jackson is the happiest person in this car."

She shifted the car into reverse and backed out of the parking spot.

"Oh?" Corey asked, putting on his own sunglasses. "I would have thought you would have been the happiest person in the car. What with the wedding and all."

"The wedding." She absentmindedly.

"You're just having the jitters."

"Do the jitters make you wake up in a cold sweat in the middle of the night? I swear since we've decided on the date, its been all about the wedding. Everyone has been throwing their ideas in. I can't breathe without someone mentioning it."

"The jitters don't do that to you." He agreed. "I'm surprised you guys have even set a date for the wedding, never mind one that is so soon."

"Roman suggested it when he was home one night a few weeks ago." Ava said as she came to a red light. "A wedge had formed between us since the miscarriage. I was pulling away from him because I thought he blamed me and vice versa. I don't think we ever fully coped with the loss. I was afraid to talk to him, to be with him. Its like ever since he suggested setting a wedding date, we've been fine."

Corey nodded.

"What's with that nod?"

"Nothing."

"Corey, I've known you long enough to know when you're holding back. Whatever it is, please tell me. I could really use some advice right about now."

He looked out the window, watching the scenery rush past them in a blur. It hadn't been until that moment that he realized just how fast Ava was driving. Had she always driven like that or was it just because she was tense?

"First off, slow down. Your son is in the backseat and you're doing forty-five in thirty." He commented. "We aren't in _Fast and the Furious._ "

Ava eased on the gas, eyeing the speedometer to be sure she was at the speed limit.

"I think you and Roman are rushing." He finally said. "You're each dealing with a _huge_ loss and this isn't the way to deal with it. Sure, now it's all fun and distractions planning a wedding, but that is all going to end. What is going to happen between you guys when you wake up with the grim reality that your distraction is gone?"

It felt as if someone had dumped ice down her shirt. Without her saying anything, he had managed to put her thoughts into words and out for the entire universe to hear.

"I love him, Corey. I want this just as much as he does."

"If you do want this as much as he does, then why are waking up in cold sweats? Why do twirl your ring around your finger when someone asks you about the wedding?"

"I do not."

"You do too. I noticed you doing just now when we were getting the invitations. You did it the other day when Seth asked if you were having bridesmaids that he'd never met."

"Just the stress of planning is all."

"You're my friend and you're going to have my support no matter what you decide to do." Corey said. "But I really think you and Roman are rushing down the wrong path here. Deep down inside, I think you know you are, too."

"I hate you."

"Because I'm telling you what you have been thinking? Admit it, you were looking for someone that _wouldn't_ validate your fears. I know you better than you know yourself Ava. You can't lie to me. I won't lie to you to make you feel better either. Talk to Roman. You are grown adults capable of making your own decisions. In the end, you will be fine."

"There's nothing to talk to him about."

"Yeah?" He asked. "Okay, fine. If you can get through tonight without waking up during the night, then you've got nothing to worry about. You can continue planning your wedding to Roman and live in bliss."

"If I do?"

"You know what to do." Corey shrugged. "You were the one that once told me you guys weren't in a rush to get married. I just want to make sure you're both doing the right thing instead of using this as a relationship building tool to repair the damage the miscarriage left between you."

Ava took a deep breath and nodded. "Have I ever told you I hate it when you're right?"

* * *

Jackson and Ava were playing Peek-A-Boo in the living room when Roman got home. He stood in the doorway, watching with a smile as they interacted with each other. Jackson's baby laughter filled the room while Ava lowered the blanket from her face and made a silly face. He couldn't help but laugh.

The blanket slipped from Ava's hands as she whipped her head around, her heart racing. She grabbed the blanket and threw it at Roman when she realized it was him.

"You scared the bejeezus out of me." She said, clutching her heart. "Make some noise when you come in."

"I don't think the words rolling through my head are what you want Jackson's tiny ears to hear when I walk in through the door." Roman said as he got on the floor next to them. He gave Ava a quick kiss and then picked up Jackson. "Hey, buddy. I missed you."

Jackson smiled as he flailed his little hands around, happy to see Roman.

"He misses you, too." Ava smiled, looking on at them. "Anytime he hears the slightest bit of noise coming from the hallway, he'll stop what he's doing and wait for you to appear."

The thought of that broke Roman's heart. He looked down at his son and kissed him on top of the head. "You guys have got me for three days."

Ava laughed at the way Roman's eyes widened with excitement.

"What did you guys do today?"

"We went with Uncle Corey to get the wedding invitations. Then we went to the park where Corey made an ass out of himself trying to pick up a single mother and then I made him pay for lunch."

Roman laughed as he avoided eye contact with Ava. He didn't want her to see that he was annoyed with her spending time with Corey. While, he knew he wouldn't try anything, he still wasn't the biggest Corey fan. He really only remained civil for Ava's sake.

"Where are the invitations?"

"They're in the car." Ava smiled sweetly at Roman. "Can you bring them in? I couldn't bring them and the baby in at the same time."

"Why didn't you have Corey bring them in?"

"I dropped him off at home first. He needed to get ready to leave for a show tomorrow." Ava shrugged. "Between you and me, I think he was butt hurt about getting rejected at the park. Then again, I think that woman may have thought we were together."

"You being the mother of a biracial baby didn't signal to her that you and Corey _weren't_ together?"

"I'm not going through this with you again." Ava got up and leaned down to take Jackson from him. "I'm going to give him a bath and then put him down. I kept him up longer than I should have. Go get the invitations, please. They're in the trunk."

* * *

While Roman was in the shower, Ava decided to look at the wedding invitations. Only then did her anxiety start to act up again. Seeing the champagne colored script writing sent her heart racing. Their names and the date below were enough to make her realize how official their wedding really was.

She dropped the invitation on the table and bolted to the other bathroom. She dropped down to her knees and threw up in the toilet. Her hands clutched the sides as she coughed up everything she ate. When she was done, she sat back against the wall, struggling to catch her breath.

Getting up to her feet, Ava staggered over to the sink and washed her face. The cold water against her skin felt amazing. She shut the water off and remained hunched over the sink, fighting to catch her breath. Her eyes slipped shut as she took in one shaky breath and released it. She fought to think of something other than the wedding, anything that would help calm her down.

"Ava?"

Ava jolted upright when she heard Roman looking for her. She grabbed a towel from the towel rack and wiped her face. She had just put the towel back on the rack when he had found her.

"Are you all right?"

She started to shake her head, but the stopped when she remembered what Corey had told her.

"Yes." She said, then sighed. "No. I don't know, Roman."

"What happened?"

"I was looking at the wedding invitations and a wave of nausea hit me and I-"

"Nausea?" He asked, more alert than before. "Are you-"

"No." Ava shook her head, trying to hide her smile. "I'm not pregnant. We're not ready for that yet. It's still too early for me to know if I'll ever be ready for that again."

Roman nodded. He decided it best to drop that particular subject. When the time for more kids came up again, then they would discuss it. Her stance hasn't changed since they last spoke about it and he saw it still upset her.

"How are you feeling right now?" Roman asked. "Are you still feeling sick?"

"No, I'm feeling a little better." Ava replied. "I just need to sit down for a moment."

"Go relax in the living room. I'll be there after I check on Jackson."

"Go check on him. I just need to freshen myself up some."

Roman nodded and left her alone. He peaked in on Jackson and saw he was still asleep. He fixed the blanket and then made sure the monitor was still on. He glanced down at him one more time and then left the room.

"Talk to me." Roman said as soon as Ava snuggled into him on the couch. "What's on your mind that your anxiety got out of whack like that?"

Ava felt herself calm down some when Roman started rubbing his hand up and down her arm. Being in his embrace was enough to make her think that she was overreacting. She was almost going to say as much when she recalled all her other anxiety attacks recently.

Ava sat up and shifted so that her legs were folded under her. She flipped her hair out of her face and looked straight at Roman, noting his concern. She could see his jaw clenching out of anxiety. No doubt he was afraid of what he was going to hear.

"I've been thinking a lot lately, what with the planning and the wedding, and are we maybe rushing into this?" She said, rushing her words together. Her eyes shifted away from his. "We've had a hard time of it during the last couple of months. Is it really wise to have the wedding this soon? Sure, we have all this now to distract us from our problems, but one day these plans won't be here anymore and we'll wake up angry at each other. I don't want that."

"Look at me." Roman turned her face so that she was looking at him again. "I love you and of course I want to be married and have that family we've both wanted for ourselves. If you want to wait it out some more, that's fine by me. We'll get married eventually. There's no rush. I'm not going anywhere."

"Really?"

"Yes, really." He laughed. He cupped the side of her face, his thumb gently tracing her lower lip. "You want to plan minor things here and there until we _finally_ decide, then you can. You want to stop completely until we _both_ think it's right to have the wedding, then we'll pick up where we left off. All that matters is if you're happy."

"What about the invitations? We got them done."

"But we haven't sent them out yet. We'll keep them if we decide to keep the original date. If not, we'll toss them and get new ones." Roman shrugged. "It's no concern. All I want is for you to be happy. I want for the both of us to be in the same place at the same time and know that our timing is right and that we are in this together."

She leaned in and pressed a kiss to his lips. "I love you so much."

He rested his forehead against hers. "I love you, too. Don't ever doubt it for one second. I'm always going to want what is best for you, for us-for our family. We'll get through it all."

"We've beaten the odds before, we can do it again."

He kissed her again. "Please, whenever you're feeling like this, talk to me. Come and find me if I'm in the house. Call me whenever you feel the need. If we're going work past this, we need to be open with each other."

Ava nodded. "I promise."

She felt herself starting to calm down. The promise of the wedding being somewhere in the far off future made her feel better. They really were rushing by setting the date for August. When it came down to it, they would probably end up despising each other once it was all said and done. That was the last thing she wanted to happen to them. It wouldn't have been fair to Jackson and any other children they may possibly have.

He pulled her onto his lap. One arm wrapped around her waist, while his free hand gently pressed down on the back of her neck, lowering her face to his. He kissed her again. "I promise, too."

* * *

A/N: Sorry to keep you guys hanging for so long. I'll try to be more consistent with updating.


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I only own Ava and Jackson.

A/N: It's been a while! I'm not gonna lie, I lost motivation for a while, but it's back. I hope you enjoy this chapter as well as the story as a whole so far. Review!

* * *

With the baby monitor in hand, Ava headed back to the living room to rejoin Patricia. She had been watching the _Fastlane_ pay-per-view while Ava had gone to put Jackson to sleep.

"Did the triple threat match happen start yet?"

"No, it's two men I think I may know, but I'm not sure," Patricia said as he turned down the volume. "Now, tell more about the wedding being postponed."

Ava looked at the screen to see it was AJ Styles and Chris Jericho wrestling. She couldn't help but smile when thinking about her first meeting with each wrestler. She took her eyes off the television screen and sat down next to Patricia.

"From the time Roman and I decided on the wedding date until we postponed it, I had been having panic attacks. Between planning, taking care of Jackson, and the miscarriage, my mind has been in so many different places I didn't know what to deal with first. It was really starting to take its toll on me. I tried to put on a happy face and brave through it, but I couldn't. I really love Roman and I can't wait for us to spend the rest of our lives together but it just didn't feel right doing it now."

Patricia nodded. "Honey, you two take your time. Neither one of you is going anywhere. You'll have the wedding when it feels right for the both of you, not just one of you."

"It really felt like a distraction, a way to keep me from thinking about the miscarriage."

"Does it still hurt you?"

Ava looked up from her hands and glanced at the television to see that Curtis Axel and R-Truth were in the ring now. She took a deep breath and looked at Patricia, smiling weakly in her direction. Yes, she thought about the miscarriage all the time. Especially now. If she hadn't miscarried, she would be seven months pregnant by now. Her original due date was April twentieth.

"It does." She sighed. "I know that sometimes these things happen. I remind myself every day that unfortunately, it does happen and it isn't the end of the world. But then out of nowhere this feeling of guilt will hit me and I suddenly feel like I failed us, like I failed the baby."

"Aww, honey." Patricia soothed as she wrapped an arm around her shoulders and hugged Ava to her. "What you are feeling is normal. Every mother in your position feels this way, but it will get better with time. You're not alone, you have Roman by your side."

"I do." Ava cried. "He's been so patient with me. I don't know why. I haven't exactly been the greatest fiancee to him lately. For the longest time I could hardly look at him without feeling guilty, sometimes I still do feel guilty. It doesn't matter how many times he says he loves me and he's there for me, it just hits me and I can't handle it."

"Have you told Roman about any of this?"

"No, I haven't." Ava wiped her tears away. "He worries about me enough as it is, I can't do this to him. We've talked about this so many times since it happened that I can't bring myself to tell him. I don't want him to think what little progress we have made has been false."

"Sweetie, if you feel this way and don't say anything it is only going to get worse. The two of you have been through so much already that I think you can get through anything now. Don't be afraid to speak up and tell him. I know my son, he won't love you any less. You're human, Ava. You can't carry this all by yourself. Being in a relationship takes a lot of work and the both of you need to work together to keep this going for yourselves, for Jackson, and any other future children you may have."

Ava broke out Patricia's embrace and sat up straight. She wiped away her tears, knowing she probably looked a mess with her eyeliner smeared and her eyes red and puffy. She sniffled in an effort to keep her nose from running. She reached over and grabbed some tissue from the box on the table.

"I know he's hurting too." She blew her nose. "I can't make this all about me."

"You won't. Once you start opening up, he will too." Patricia reassured Ava. "Sometimes I think I have to knock your heads together to give you some sense. Ava, I love you, you are family, but if I can be honest-I'm glad the wedding has been postponed. I don't want either of you to rush into something that may hurt you in the end. If you could tell Roman that you felt the wedding was being rushed, you can tell him what you just told me."

Laughing through a fresh batch of tears, she shook her head. "He caught me throwing up. I had to tell him what was wrong after I dashed his hopes of being pregnant again."

"Have you been trying?"

Ava shook her head. "Maybe we'll try this time, it's been on my mind a lot lately."

"You and Roman have a lot to talk about."

Jackson's cries interrupted their conversation. Both women looked at the monitor and Ava started getting up, only to have Patricia say she'll look in on him.

"Sit. Relax. You've been running around all day." She got up. "Besides, Roman should be coming out soon. Watch his match, I'll take care of Jackson."

She stared at the screen, her eyes following Roman wherever he went in the ring. He had his game face on, he was ready. Nothing in the world could distract him from his professional goal; getting the WWE Championship. She could see it in his eyes. She smiled, knowing at least one area of his life was going well. She sat back and watched the match, looking away any time he took a hard hit.

"How's it going?"

"All three of them are killing each other."

"So it's going well then," Patricia remarked as she sat down. "Jackson fell back asleep."

"Thank you."

They fell silent for a moment, watching the match. Ava nervously fiddled with her ring as she watched Roman wrestle and listen to the crowd boo whenever he got a move in. After talking to Patricia, she was filled with the need to see him as soon as possible. She wanted to fix things between them for real now. She couldn't take things the way they were any longer.

"Patricia, will you be able to look after Jackson for the next few days?" She asked, flinching when Dean was roughly thrown out of the ring by Brock. "I want to go see Roman."

"Do you know where Roman is heading after this show?"

"He always calls me after a show." She smiled, looking forward to hearing his voice. "I'll ask him where he's heading and then book a flight for early morning."

"Take your time, Sika and I will watch Jackson for as long as you need us to."

* * *

Roman engulfed her in a hug when she stepped out the gate and walked over to him. Her arms wrapped around his waist and she pressed her cheek to his chest, inhaling the scent of his cologne. She had missed him so much. He gave her a kiss on the lips and then broke the hug, taking her hand in his. With the other, he grabbed her small suitcase and they started out of the airport.

"To what do I owe the pleasure of you joining me on the road this week?"

"I really missed you," Ava said, gently squeezing his hand. "I was watching _Fastlane_ with your mom last night and we got to talking and I realized I really wanted to be with you this week."

"Without the baby?"

"Without the baby. I need our focus to be on each other. We're going to ignore what's going on and only focus on Jackson."

Roman looked down at Ava, trying to keep the panic out of his facial expression. Things had been better between them lately. He thought they had put everything behind them. He stopped walking and turned to face her, still holding her hand.

"Is there something I should be worried about? Are you all right? Is it something with Jackson? I know you, Ava. You wouldn't have impulsively decided to fly out to Columbus to see me."

She closed the space between them, laying a hand on his chest. She cupped the side of his face with her other hand, looking up at him with a soft smile on her lips.

"Jackson is fine. I'm here for us." Ava whispered. "I'm so worried about us. I really want to make this work."

"Baby, we are working. It's going to be day by day."

"We'll talk more at the hotel," Ava responded. "I just want to be alone with you. My god, I've missed you so much this last week."

Roman nodded, picked up her things again and they started walking out of the airport. He kept his eyes straight ahead, hoping nobody would recognize them. The last thing he needed was for someone to hound him while he was on the brink of an anxiety attack.

"I've missed you too."

* * *

Ava collapsed on top of Roman in a sweaty, satisfied heap. Not a word was spoken between them until they had caught their breath. Her upper body rose and fell with each breath he took.

"Roman," she gasped between breaths. "I...oh god."

She wasn't sure what had gotten into him. Roman had sped to the hotel from the airport, hardly saying a word the entire ride over. Every now and again he would glance at her, dragging his tongue over his lips and then focus on the road, his foot pressing down on the gas pedal.

Roman was on her as soon as the door was locked behind them. His lips collided with hers as he backed her against the wall, his hands fumbling with her clothes. Before she knew it, they were in bed, clawing at each other as if they were sex starved. His thrusts were different, harder, more possessive. When his hand came down on her ass she moaned, a mix of pleasure and pain. Roman's deep voice growling in her ear as he took her from behind made her plead for more. His hand around her throat, grumbling if he was daddy had turned her on more than she thought it would. She didn't know what this was, but she'd be lying if she said she didn't enjoy it.

"Are you all right?" He mumbled, running a finger up and down her spine. "I didn't hurt you, did I?"

Ava pushed herself up so that she was hovering over Roman, leveling her face with his. She brought her lips to his, kissing him with as much passion as she could muster.

"No," Ava breathed when the kiss was broken.

Roman brought a hand to the back of her neck, holding her face inches away from his. She could feel his warm breath beating against her face as they locked eyes on each other. Her teeth were sinking into her lower lip, while his lips were held in a smirk. His free hand ran down her bare back making her shiver. When he reached her ass, he rubbed his hand against the soft flesh before giving her a hard smack. She moaned at the contact, her body gently writhing against his.

"I'm happy you're here," he whispered. "I missed you. I've missed your voice, your lips, the feel of your skin."

He let go of her, allowing Ava to slide off him and lay next to him on the bed. Roman turned on his side, propping himself up on his elbow. His tongue dragged over his lips again while eying her, appreciating the woman beside to him.

"It's during times like these that I wish you weren't gone so much." Ava finally said. "These next few days waking up beside you are going to be the best days I've had in a while."

"What brought you here?"

She sat up, wrapping the blanket around her. She blew out a breath, then glanced at her fiance, in all his glory next to her, concerned about the next words that are going to come out of her mouth.

"I love you so much, Roman. I don't think I could ever love anyone as much as I love you. We've been having such a difficult time lately. Just when we think we're doing good, I'm over here, stuck in my own head, sending us back a dozen paces."

"What's this about?"

"I know we've talked about it before and maybe after this we won't. Maybe we can finally move on after this." Ava rambled. "I've never told you this, maybe you can sense it, but I feel so guilty about all of this. About the miscarriage, about the distance between us, the wedding, the way I've been treating you, all of it. Not once throughout all of this did I ask how you were, what you were thinking."

Roman sat up straight, blowing out a breath between his lips. He rubbed his lips together, not entirely sure how to answer. Aside from caring about Ava and her health, he didn't give himself much thought. His only concern was getting her better and making their relationship stronger.

"We've both had a hard time and we're working through it."

"How are you feeling though?" She slid closer to him, threading her arm through his and laying her head on his shoulder. "I've been so self-involved lately I've hardly paid any attention to what you're feeling."

"I love you, Ava. Don't ever think for a minute that I blame you for anything; for the miscarriage, the wedding being put to the side. All I care about is us getting back to where we were."

"You haven't said much about anything but that." Ava sighed, her fingernails brushing against his forearm. "Just that you don't fault me. How do you feel? Maybe the reason we can't move on is that I don't know how you are feeling."

Roman turned his head slightly to look down at Ava. Even though she couldn't see him, he smiled down at her. All he wanted was to have her next to him like this. With work becoming more hectic, especially after becoming number one contender the night before, he could feel the pressure on him. When he came to his hotel room at the end of the night he wished Ava and Jackson were there waiting for him.

"The miscarriage did hurt me. Sometimes I wish it hadn't happened. We'd still be getting ready for the baby, maybe moving into a new house if we had continued looking for one." Roman whispered, leaning his head on top of hers. "If it hadn't had happened we wouldn't be here. It happened and here we are. I'll admit at first I was hurt, but now with time, I'm not anymore. My regrets are that I wasn't by your side when it happened and that I couldn't have been more help to you."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"You were already having a hard time opening up to me. I didn't want to make it worse." Roman admitted. "I opened my mouth and made it worse. I flipped when you said no more kids and I just wanted to pull away. The only way I could pull away from it was to get you into bed. I couldn't deal so I asked about setting a wedding date. Anything to distract us from the shit storm over us."

"You could have told me."

"How?" He asked. "You could barely look at me."

Ava blinked back the tears she felt pricking her eyes. She had been the absolute worst.

"I'm sorry." She whispered. "I should have thought about you too. I shouldn't have worried about me and how I was feeling. I should have worried about both of us, what it was doing to our family."

"We talked about this before."

"But I was still worried about myself. Jesus, I'm an awful person."

Roman lifted his head up and pulled his arm out from around hers. He turned to face her, sitting on his knees. Leaning in, he cupped the sides of her face and brought it closer to his, their lips touching.

"I never want to hear those words out of your mouth again. We're doing the best we can. I love you. You're the only person for me. You're a wonderful mother to our child. Yes, you're a pain in my ass sometimes, especially when you're right, but I wouldn't have you any other way."

"Roman, how-"

He interrupted her with a kiss. When they pulled apart, he took her left hand in his, holding it up between them. "That ring right there, you see it? We're going to make it. Yes, we started out together as what, at that time, would have been described as the world's worst hangover, but we made it through that. From our problems with Summer and Corey all the way til now, we've made it. This ring is so much more than our promise to be together. I know it and you know it. Don't for one second think otherwise."

Ava pressed her forehead to his, her eyes closed, her lower lip trembling. She had missed this closeness. She had missed these loving, tender moments with Roman. For the first time in a long time, she felt close to him. This was the first time in a few months she was sure about one other thing. She wanted to try to have another baby.

"Please don't think I'm completely insane for asking this."

Roman chuckled. "If you're insane, I'm insane."

"How would you feel if we tried to have another baby?"

He pulled back and looked at her, stunned. As he thought about it a smile spread across his lips as he shook his head from side to side, not believing what he was hearing.

"What?"

"I've been thinking a lot lately and I really want us to try again," Ava paused for a moment. "...if you want to that is."

"You want to try to have a baby? Are you sure?" He asked, still unsure if he heard right. "I thought you said you didn't want to think about more children yet."

"I know, but something about the timing sounds right. Maybe I'm dumb for mentioning it, given the miscarriage and canceling the wedding for now."

He leaned in toward her, cupping the side of her face, his thumb gently tracing her lower lip. He couldn't believe what he was hearing and at the same time, he wanted this too.

"Let's try." He whispered. "I want to do this with you."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

Roman pulled the blanket away from her, revealing her nude body. He licked his lips as he gently pushed her back on the bed. Crawling between her legs, he lowered his lips to hers.

* * *

A/N: Are they making a stupid mistake?


End file.
